Her: “If you want me to get a divorce, I will.” Him: “Lol. No, don’t do that.”

This was the day that all the puzzle pieces aligned, and everything had come together. I understood. I questioned. I drank. I crashed… fast and couldn’t escape the overwhelming emotional devastation. I demanded questions and her responses were so cavalier and casual. She was so unremorseful and nonchalant about the fact that she was cheating. What made matters worse at that moment was that her actions had surpassed the physical actions. She was ready to put the fate of our relationship in the hands of another human being.

Have you ever been in a position where there are things that trigger you? A smell, a taste, the sound of someone’s voice or a sound? I have so many triggers; the littlest things can trigger memories, pains and feelings. There are some days where I can smell something, and a wave of depression takes hold of me. I’m sure the thought right now is, why would a healthy female have triggers like that, what could have caused it?

And just that, 2019 is drawing to a close, and it’s time to pack away the fine china used for Christmas for reuse next year. Everyone will be shifting their focus from gifting to others to buying for themselves as the stores announce their sales, and of course, the excitement that the New Year brings. As we steadily approach 2020, our timelines will be filled with posts emphasising how 2019 was filled with moments that made 2019 everyone’s best year thus far.  Meanwhile, some of us are flicking through our photo gallery and saved Snapchat memories trying to find an ‘Insta/Facebook-worthy’ post with a creative caption solidifying how great 2019 was for us. However, it doesn’t exist, or we feel like it doesn’t add up to everyone else’s posts.