A placement holder until they find the “one”. A placebo, disguising itself as the real thing—situationship.
All the signs are there, staring you in the face; you know what you are in. Yearning and wanting more, knowing in your heart that they cannot give you what you want and need, yet still, you stay.
They say: if it smells like a duck, looks like a duck, walks like a duck and sounds like a duck—it’s a duck. However, if it smells like a relationship, kind of sort of looks like a relationship, but walks like a situation, and sounds like a situation—it’s a ‘situationship’. Sorry to break the news to you, well, actually, say it out loud for you, but you are in a ‘situationship’ sweetie.
Often, in my opinion, we knowingly allow ourselves to be in these types of situations. Simply put—we settle. I could say that I don’t understand why, but I do because I have been there myself *cue the dramatic music*.
Every one of us has been in a situationship, I think it all comes down to: how long are we going to stand for it, how long do we play blind to the fact that this ploy will only last so long and when will we realise our worth.
When it comes to matters of the heart, unfortunately, many of us make excuses for our behaviour and excuse those of their partner. We foolishly tell ourselves that this too shall pass, it is only a phase and by accepting this that it will turn into a relationship; and this becomes the affirmation we recite to ourselves every day. Back when I settled and was in a ‘situationship’ it wasn’t called that; you were merely considered a fool, and to be honest, it is not like that term has ceased to exist, situationship softens the fall.
· · ·
I remember when I first 1. found that I was not the only girl and 2. found out that they hadn’t considered our “relationship” a relationship at all. Fool, idiot, gullible, hurt and betrayed are just a few of the words I would use to describe how I felt at the time. However, a fool, an idiot, gullible and foolish are just a snippet of the words I would use to describe my actions, or lack thereof when I chose to settle regardless.
I know so many women who are in situationships and then complain. No sweetie, you forfeited your rights to complain when you 1. entered the situationship knowingly and or 2. willingly chose to stay when the truth was revealed.
The truth, love hasn’t changed; the outlook of relationships and their titles have.
The mindset of society and most of the world is ever changing, but in an attempt to be liked we adapt our way of life and principles to fit others. We are given the impression that we need and should be in a relationship to be happy or considered successful. We see a moment, a second of the lives of others and all of a sudden our lives and relationships are shit compared to the glammed up snippets we see. This #RelationshipGoals trend on social media is absolutely ridiculous and in my opinion, adds to the issue. We see the highlight reel of the lives of others and take notice of how society reacts to it, and immediately we want that; we want what we see; but what about the trials and tribulations, the countless frogs kissed, what about the fraudulent reels appearing real?
We know that we want a relationship, but we want what’s bad for us; we want the person who looks good on the arm but is a detriment to our health. We want the person that is going to get us the likes and provide an appearance of happiness and success; we accept a situationship. Why and at what cost? “This is um, John/Jane my…” that awkward moment when you don’t know what to introduce them as. Is that really what you want, maybe, maybe not but, it is what you signed up for.
I understand that our mind is a powerful tool and that studies have shown that if someone has unknowingly taken a placebo, they can feel like this placebo is doing something for them and will feel cured. However, it isn’t going to work for you on this occasion, maybe if you are genuinely oblivious to the signs maybe. But, when we accept a situationship and try to pass it off as the real thing, it will provide temporary fulfilment, but that is until reality hits, and we are left standing there dumbfounded and possibly broken.
We used to be so careful with our hearts. We would make sure (or at least do our best) that the person we gave the title and the key to our heart was worthy and deserving of it, but now, we settle.
We are worthy of so much more—demand it. Know your worth and own it.