Reader discretion advised. This post contains REAL shit, truth, and strong opinions and may not be suitable for all readers.
“No such thing as a life that’s better than yours”
~ J. Cole
Sometimes you have to be Jimmy and be willing and strong enough to 8 Mile yourself. People will always feel like their lives are somehow better than yours because of the whispers and rumours they have heard about yours. They compare and analyse the two and immediately rate themselves above you because of the hurdles and trials that you have endured.
Never be afraid to show that you’re human.
So you’ve been through some tough times and made mistakes, who hasn’t?! So many people are out here living through filters and can’t face reality when shit is raw and unfiltered. All of these Instagram, Facebook, and Snapchat lives are not always real, yet people are drooling over them and wishing it was their life. The truth of the matter is that we ALL go through shit, whether it’s small, runny, green or brown, shit is shit and no one is exempt from going through it. I’m slowly learning to accept that just like our asses, we too will go through shit no matter who we are or how concealed or private with believe our “thrones” to be.
Shit happens, it is unavoidable. Just like our bodies, we too need nutrition to thrive and just as we dispose of the extras, or things that are not needed, life is the same. What I am trying to say is that we will endure shit, there is no way around it. Understand that enduring not so great times, does not men
#Newsflash there is no such thing as a life that is better than yours.
Many people wouldn’t believe this, simply because we have become so accustomed to comparing one another based on society’s standards of life and rate each other accordingly. We all have a public version of our lives, and usually, that one is carefully tailored and curated for the world. Reality: we ALL have moments of weakness and downfalls, the moments we shield from the world fearful of their cruel judgments, but at what point do we stand up, stop being fake and admit to being human. Mistakes are things that we will all make and fall victim to. Making mistakes and/or hurting the person you care for doesn’t necessarily make you a bad person it simply makes you human. We have allowed our mistakes to define us. Those choices that have been labelled as mistakes because they are frowned upon by others or because we didn’t like the outcome, so we check it off as a mistake. See all mistakes first start off as a choice; it’s the repercussions that define if it’s a mistake or not.
Prior to my marriage, my partner and I went through some shit which led to our issues and uninvited people to be part of our relationship and the situation we were going through. Mistakes were made, we foolishly put ourselves in environments that were probably not the best at the time. Alcohol, assumptions, emotions, and dishonesty turned the situation into a drama-filled event. Despite us working through things and trying to move past it, we kept landing in the same spot and the situation that my partner and I were dealing with was addressed once again. Strangely enough, it was what I, we needed.
So, go ahead, judge me, and when you do make sure you take a look at your closet ensuring that your drawers and closets are empty and free from skeletons and that your hands are clean. I am not perfect, shit I am far from it, and not one of my relationships (platonic and non-platonic) are perfect either. I am sure that people will read this and shake their head and judge me because I have chosen to share pieces of MY life publically, and that is ok. See, if I were Beyonce’ or Rihanna giving you an exclusive on the rumours about my life and relationship you would be glued to the screen holding onto every word written, but because I am just a plain Jane, it is frowned upon to be so open and honest.
The Naked Truth is that people are going to judge me regardless of what I do, and they will participate in the rumour mill and then smile in my face instead of keeping it 100. I am tired. I am tired of living my life for others and fearing who I am. I am an emotionalist, and I have learned to be open and honest and for those who do not like it #OhWell.
We have somehow defined and categorised ourselves by either good or bad based solely on those decisions that ended up being the wrong ones. Although we may see others making similar decisions we are subconsciously optimistic by nature, always thinking “that wouldn’t happen to me”, fooling ourselves into thinking that we are somehow exempt from making foolish choices and being the fool, but we all play the fool at least once.
There is no definitive limit of mistakes that will dictate the type of person that you are. See, we tend to be biased when it comes to mistakes. Depending on the circumstances or the person, we will protect and defend those who have made tremendous mistakes. However, if the same mistake was made by someone else, there is an uproar! I have seen people defend murder, bullying, etc. and then when the shit lands on their doorstep, all of a sudden there is a problem with someone else making the mistake they were once defending. No mistake or decision can be undone, and the impact is usually irreversible. As we are all individuals, we will deal and cope with things differently, but that doesn’t mean because our coping techniques are different that one of us is wrong, it merely shows that we are different.
I am who I am, and at the end of the day, it is me that I have to live with. My life choices are not always going to be accepted or even understood by others, and I won’t be liked by everyone, and I am glad because that means I am true to myself instead of falling in line and following others based on the masses. Friends, Family, Strangers, and Lovers will gossip and judge you, shake it off. You will make mistakes, and you will play the fool at least once. Learn to love yourself naked, and you will be surprised and how much your life changes.
Naked Truth, we are not exempt from making or being on the receiving end of mistakes. We may not like it, but it is going through the bullshit that makes us better. It allows us to release the toxic and shit that we don’t need in our lives.
Smile through the bullshit and learn from your mistakes.
Your flaws and mistakes are not a disability, they are simply part of being human.