Life’s seesaw propels us off the ground and allows us to oversee the playground of life; in the blink of an eye, we are down on the ground, and the next, we are up enjoying the high. It is important to know that the highs and lows of life are not always easy to adjust between; if you are anything like me, you know, a human being, then at least one point in your life you have secretly wished that you could be hidden and protected from the world by an invisible cloak like Harry Potter, but it just doesn’t work like that in the real world.
We now live in a consumer society; a society where what you can attain, determines your social status. Gone are the days where your profession or skills meant more— those days are over, and social media does not make this easier. People will post their valuables, how much they spent on a pair of shoes and portray a specific life through the internet. However, in real life, their priorities are in the wrong place, their personality does not match what they show, and they are living off the system or possibly worse.
Growing up, I didn’t have much (still don’t); I had what I needed and was given what I wanted on special occasions or if the money was there. In my adult life, I have worked hard for what I have, I have made foolish mistakes leading to debt and smarter choices to correct my lapses in judgment. I am not living life to impress others—at one point I did, but not anymore. People criticise me for choosing to be a human in public and putting personal aspects of my life for the world to see. It’s my life—my story, my mistakes and my perseverance may encourage others; I am learning to forgive myself and not to be so ashamed for not having it all figured out. Living life based on the expectations of others or attempting to live up to social media reels does not depict my idea of a life well-lived. Life is not perfect; whilst we use the phrase “the game of life”, we are not granted multiple lives or attempts to pass each level successfully.
In this thing called life, there will forever be issues and problems that arise at the worst time, those who agitate and irritate us and those who spend their waking moments trying to bring us down instead of focusing on enhancing their own life; then there is the few that will actually encourage you to be a better you. Simply put, there will always be ups and downs in life, which I am sure we all already know. Those seesaw moments help to make and shape us into who we are meant to be; of course, there will be moments that will make us want to disappear and run away, but also times when we want to celebrate and be loud.
In my opinion, the key to surviving until it is your time to go is to remain authentic to who you are, but how do you remain true to yourself when the issues that are inevitable pieces of life pull you in multiple directions altering yourself? A few days ago, I was waiting to see if ‘Aunt Flo’ was going to show up or if I was successful this month in conceiving; unfortunately, she came. Along with this disappointment, I am sitting here with a pile of unexpected life-ish and thinking about my life—where I have been and how I have gotten to where I am now. Yes, I have some regrets, but I also know that everything that I have endured as a result of my own actions and thoughts has allowed me to learn some valuable lessons that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
As bad as I want to shout and scream to the top of my lungs ‘why me?’, I know that this question will not do me any justice. We are faced with all sorts of hurdles and challenges, and as we are individuals, we will all handle these differently. Regardless of how minor or consequential a problem may be or seem in the moment, life continues; bills continue to increase, time carries on, lives continue, and the world will move on with or without you.
Is it really for a reason?
I have been let down by two companies recently with regards to a car; one is a large reputable company, and the other is smaller. See, from the outside looking in, both cars are amazing; however, it isn’t just the exterior that matters—it’s the inside the makes the car run. Despite being advised by both companies that the cars are in good condition; I have still been slapped with unexpected issues. Luckily, I am getting a refund for one, well both because for the second car, the law is on our side. I feel all sorts of emotions over a car, and it is extremely difficult to explain or for others to understand because it is a materialistic item. The car was our way of a little bit of freedom during a pandemic when we are heavily limited with what we can do; being able to nip to the store and safely get to and from work was something we heavily relied on. The car was most importantly, a crucial part of our ability to start our family as we need to be able to travel to our donor. See, most people want the luxury that a car offers; they want the top of the line vehicle, and they will paint you a very good picture portraying a specific story. Me, I am just trying to live a good life.
This is my second attempt at trying to get pregnant, and this time, I truly felt like we were successful. When it got closer to the monthly visit of ‘Aunt Flo’ and the very familiar symptoms became apparent, it broke me. When you are trying to conceive (TTC), you cannot help but ‘symptom watch’; you become so in tune with your body that every little twinge, pain or what seems like a sudden change in your body seems like a sign that you will have your Big Fat Positive (BFP); I was wrong. Here is the thing, as bad as I want to try again, until I get a new car, I do not have the means, and it hurts.
Life’s seesaw ensures that we experience the highs and lows; however, the sometimes sudden and unexpected shift between the two, shakes our world and disrupts our footing. The weight that we carry on our shoulders restricts our ability to experience the highs of life as it weighs us down. Conversely, the weight on the opposite side builds over time, and whilst we tend to refer to this as a negative, sometimes we need something to bring us back down to remind us how to fight and also to equip us with the lessons to grow. Just like the cars mentioned above, it is not solely about the exterior, who we are on the inside is just as important if not greater than the other aspects of our outer appearance.
Embrace the seesaw of life and the journey’s that come with it—ups and downs.